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What Microsoft has in common with Detroit | |
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| Time: 00:46 EST/05:46 GMT | News Source: Financial Times | Posted By: Kenneth van Surksum | ||
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If software programs were cars, then Windows Vista would be the Ford Explorer and Windows Mobile would be the Ford Focus.
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| #1 By 155637 (99.179.4.117) at 10/28/2008 1:28:17 PM |
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If Vista were a car:
a. The font size on the speedometer would change spontaneously to anything from a 2 pt font to a 108 point font. In most cases the result is unreadable. To fix the problem the car would have to be stopped and restarted. b. Vista would not work in older communities. You could drive up to Levittown, but not into it. c. Blowing the horn would make no sound. However, sometime later, the horn would blow. d. After 168 miles of continuous driving, the car must be stopped and restarted. Not doing that allows the steering wheel to act on its own. e. At random intervals the car will refuse to operate at all and require a telephone call to to original dealer to reactivate it. If a new receptionist has been hired at the dealership, some escalation up the management chain might be necessary to reactivate the car. f. When purchased, the dealer and car manufacturer promise extras, but after two years the only extras are four different stuffed animals that hang from the rear-view mirror and language modfications so you can read your speedometer in 90 different languages. g. Occasionally, the car will stop completely irrespective of how fast it is going. For that reason, it is strongly advised to always wear seat belts. h. Different people sitting in a VISTA automobile react differently. Some are so uncomfortable they cannot stay in the car and must exit, even before it is started. It cannot be predicted before hand who might react is such a manner. j. When you get into the car, and try to start it, you have to also push the "I AM SURE!!" button. If you don't, nothing happens. You do that for starting the car, shifting to reverse, shifting back to forward, shifting to second and third and forth gears [even though it is an automatic transmission, I still have to approve of the gear shifing]. I also must approve all left turns. The car gets into the middle of the intersection before requiring the approval. Pre-approval is not an option. k. Sometimes, when I want to turn right, the car keeps going straight. In that case, I have to go around the block and attempt the right turn again. In most cases two or three attempts produce success. l. Spontaneously, a VISTA fender will exhibit a dent. It will just appear. Putting the car in a garage and up on blocks will fix the problem. No bodywork is necessary. m. Occasionally, when I step on the gas, the car will brake. The owner will be trained to stop the car and start it again the first time this happens. It is a particularly dangerous feature and drivers must pay attention. n. At random moments the car will stop and require you to wait 20 minutes while it completes it's system update. This too is dangerous and drivers are warned to be careful. o. When the glovebox hinge breaks, the audio response system suggests to the owner that he should not be so rough on it and that he can buy a new hinge at www.microsoft.com/vista/hinges. When the passenger side door will not open, the voice response unit again suggests the user not push so hard on the door or that the user did something to the door. In all cases of automobile errors, the voice response unit is programmed to suggest how the user can change his or her behavior to avoid the problem. Almost always the suggestions are useless. |
| #2 By 54556 (68.35.10.96) at 10/28/2008 9:46:34 PM |
| rotfl. BRB. I have to go get a paper towel to clean the coffee off my monitor and keyboard... |
| #3 By 2960 (70.177.180.170) at 10/29/2008 9:45:05 AM |
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I have a 2007 Edge SEL+ AWD. I missed Sync by one year.
That, along with the power tailgate, are the two options I wish I would have waited for. Damned fine car nonetheless. TL |
| #4 By 28801 (65.90.202.10) at 10/29/2008 2:17:42 PM |
| #1: Sounds like you should get a "professional" to install your OS next time. |
| #5 By 54556 (67.131.75.22) at 10/29/2008 6:40:59 PM |
| Vista was suppoed to be an end-user product. You should not need a "professional" to insert a CD and answer the "what trimzone are you in" question. |
| #6 By 28801 (65.90.202.10) at 10/30/2008 10:47:20 AM |
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#5: My comment was meant to be sarcastic hence the quotes around professional. I have installed Vista on numerous machines and despite not being a "Professional", I have not encountered any of the metaphoric dilemmas listed by #1. This leads me to conclude that he/she is either a complete novice to computers, or a troll Latch wannabe with too much time on his/her hands (rather like yourself).
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| #7 By 15406 (216.191.227.68) at 10/30/2008 2:40:35 PM |
| #6: You're just jealous. |
| #8 By 54556 (67.131.75.22) at 10/30/2008 3:26:18 PM |
| #6 What a "mature" comment. |
| #9 By 28801 (71.58.225.185) at 10/30/2008 9:17:08 PM |
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#7: There's only one Latch!
#8: "Thanks". |
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