Microsoft Announces Plans to Acquire Apple Computer Corp.

Microsoft today announced its plans acquire operating system competitor Apple Computer Corp. in a bold move that raises a series of anti trust questions. The proposed all stock purchase will result in Apple becoming a division of the Redmond, Washington software giant and retaining its offices in California. The Apple division, which will be renamed Microsoft User Design Research and Development, will be responsible for designing the user interface for the upcoming Longhorn O/S.

When asked about Apples computer hardware division, Steve Jobs was quoted as saying, "Microsoft will benefit from our long experience in desktop and laptop design. When their new XPC is launched in late 2003 it will be designed by our engineers but the actual manufacturing process will be out sourced to long time Microsoft hardware partner Flextronics." Mr. Jobs further stated, "I am extremely happy to bring our focus on the user experience to Microsoft’s long running standard of excellence in creating stable software platforms."

Microsoft Chief Software Architect Bill Gates seemed overjoyed at the ceremonious announcement today. "Steve and I have been long time friends and rivals. I look forward to working with him to make his achievements in the innovation of the PC platform a real consumer success." Mr. Gates declined to comment further on the XPC project.

Microsoft execs have told this reporter that they hope to complete the acquisition by the end of the 3rd quarter of this year. At that time a version of Windows XP for the G4 will be available so that current Mac users will be able to use a real operating system for a change. This version of XP will support DVD Recording natively in addition to new display drivers to support the beautiful Apple flat screen displays.

Spirits are soaring at both the Redmond, Washington campus and former Apple campus where a new Microsoft sign has been erected in place of the Apple logo in anticipation of the acquisition. One thing remains to be seen, however, will the combined force of the 800 pound gorilla of software and the featherweight masters of artistic PC design be able to hold on in the face of the coming Linux onslaught?

"We don’t have to worry about Linux anymore, were buying that too," said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer cheerily.

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